Seattle, WA — In another surprising move, Starbucks announced today they would start selling French fries to accompany their selection of high-end coffee drinks and selected pastries.
“We’ve really been reaching out to our customer base for suggestions on how to make their Starbucks visit better,” said New Product Team Lead, Charlotte Greene. “The one thing we heard over and over again was give me something salty!” The coffee chain is complying. Each corporate owned Starbucks will receive deep fryers by month’s end.
“We feel the scent of frying potato product will add to the overall in-store experience,” said Green.
This move to add French fries is thought by some industry experts to be just another move in the transformation of Starbucks from specialty coffee shop to soulless franchise. When questioned about the similarity to McDonald’s on product offering and price point, Greene said, “I’m sorry, Mc-who?”
Starbucks may or may not be trying to tap into the lucrative, but fickle, and sometimes downright abusive, PMS demographic. “French fries, donuts, and French roast? That’s a recipe for cash,” said Amanda Warner, whose website, Make Money With Monthly Marketing, supports a consulting practice to help businesses capture the dollars women spend impulsively during the four to six day period before menstruation.
Although company spokespeople are not admitting to anything, it’s hard to deny the pre-menstrual appeal of a new product in the works. Starbucks’ forthcoming potato covered coffee bean, dipped in chocolate will give consumers the ultimate in sugar, starch, caffeine.