The position of “Car Czar” will be available soon and the list of applicants is filling up fast. Do you think you have what it takes to do the job? Here’s a list of some of the questions on the application form:
Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Ferrari Club of America?
Have you ever keyed a Prius? Include photo of yourself standing next to it smiling.
Fill in the blank: “See the USA in your ___.”
Name the model of car driven in “Starsky and Hutch,” “The Dukes of Hazard” and “Knight Rider.”
Describe the last time you changed the oil in you car. Bonus points if it was within the last 20 years.
Without the help of Google Maps, locate Detroit on a globe.
Name three things you can do in the back seat of an American car that you can’t do in a foreign car. Bonus points for photos.
What is the most number of miles you’re driven with the needled on E? Provide towing and repair bills to substantiate.
Can you sit through a presentation by the CEO of General Motors without saying, “Heh-heh, he said Hummer”?
Give as many reasons as you can why Ralph Nader should be sent to Gitmo. Use back of form if necessary.
List three things you will throw in at no extra charge to get this job.
Sing “Hot Rod Lincoln” without making any mistakes. Bonus points for realistic car sound effects.
Name as many pro sports teams as you can whose mascots are also American car models.
Tell three jokes with the word “Isuzu” in the punch line.
Explain in your best car dealer voice why “I must be CRAZY to apply for this job!”