Got an auto industry CEO on your Christmas list and can’t figure out what to get him? It’s tough shopping for the man who has everything and nothing at the same time. Here’s a list of gifts designed specially for automotive CEOs that’s sure to make your favorite GM, Chrysler or Ford exec wake up on Christmas morning and exclaim, “God bless us, every one … except Toyota, Honda and Nissan.”
Amazon’s Kindle Reading Device — Load it up with biographies of Henry Ford, Walter P. Chrysler and William C. Durant, plus a copy of Stephen King’s “Christine” to scare them away from their current model cars.
Nintendo Wii Guitar Hero World Tour — Car Songs: It’s loaded with car songs like Little Deuce Coupe, Little Red Corvette and 409 to inspire them to come up with new cars that inspire bands to write about them.
Madden NFL 09 – Detroit Lions Edition: Nothing makes you feel better about yourself than watching people who are bigger losers than you are, especially in your own home town.
Nintendo Wii Honda Fit: So they can practice building economical, high mileage, fun cars at home.
Old Spice For Mechanics: Get them in the mood for car building by smelling like grease, oil and windshield washer fluid.
iPhone 3 Welded To An Old Princess Phone With A Dial: To remind them what it’s like driving an American car that claims to be state-of-the-art.
Trip to Seoul: Coach class, one-way. Promise to send the return ticket when he can correctly pronounce “Hyundai.”
Box of Bandaids: Write on each one “Government loan.”
Monopoly game: Help him see the future by removing the car piece and burning all the money.
Chinese fighting fish: Put a model of an American car company in the aquarium for the fish to fight over