BOISE, ID – Waldo S. Ware, newly-elected commissioner of the U.S. Professional Scavenger Hunt League (motto: “Do You Know Where I Can Find A Coconut Bra?”) announced today that mobile searches will be banned from league play staring with the 2009 season. “Mobile Searches are the worst scandal to hit our sport since Indian star Raja Klemuns tested positive for curry-based steroids.”
The U .S. Professional Scavenger Hunt League was established in 2008 to give small cities a chance to host a professional sports team without having to build a stadium, a sports complex or a bowling alley. Charter franchises were awarded to Boise, Idaho, Old Hickory, Tennessee, Cut-and-Shoot, Texas, and Eagle Butte, South Dakota. Cities that have lost sports franchises or are upset with their current teams are also under consideration, giving hope to Los Angeles and Detroit. The Scavenger Hunt Championship, called the Snooer Bowl, will be held in September in Egg Harbor City, New Jersey,
Ware first learned about cell-phone-initiated mobile searches on the Internet while looking for new items to add to the scavenger lists for the upcoming season. “I googled ‘hard-to-find stuff’ and up popped this site explaining Yahoo’s One Search , Google’s Mobile Search and Microsoft Live Mobile,” said Ware. “If a scavenger hunter can use his or her cell phone to quickly find the nearest store selling left-handed screwdrivers or mustache blow-dryers, I’d call that an unfair advantage. You know, like being born Yao Ming.”
To prevent scavenger hunters from using illegal mobile searches, the league will conduct random tests for iPhones, Blackberries and Android systems. Players caught with these devices will be suspended for one game. Players caught with dial telephones will not be penalized since they’re on the scavenger list.
Yahoo and Google refused to comment on the ban. Microsoft announced it would cancel commercials planned for broadcasts of U.S. Professional Scavenger Hunt League games and would apply the $12.95 to a Super Bowl ad.