In honor of the announcement that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae will suspend housing foreclosures until January 9, 2009, the Money Curmudgeon is announcing that he will suspend jokes about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae until January 10, 2009.
That’s right. No more “Fannie Mae is so fat, Hank Paulson calls her Fannie Mae Fall Through The Floor” jokes. It’s a temporary ban on gags like “How many Freddie Mac bankers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the bulb got sold when the house was foreclosed.” The moratorium also applies to comparing either of them to other flailing entities, including the Detroit Lions, the Republican Party and Amy Winehouse.
The Money Curmudgeon is hoping that this joke reprieve will convince other banks, financial institutions, government agencies and companies responsible for the current economic collapse to be nice guys for a while in return for a few weeks off of his comedy dartboard. That list includes, but is not limited to: AIG, General Motors, George W. Bush, Jim Cramer, American Express, The Federal Reserve Bank and the NFL referees who keep screwing up the betting lines.
Anyone wishing to move temporarily off of the Money Curmudgeon’s punch-lineup must announce their apology, vote recount, layoff freeze, company-wide raise, cancellation of CEO bonuses, forgiveness of debt or refund of purchase price for tickets to “The American Idol Tour” on a major television network other than the Fox News Channel. In lieu of any of these, a joke suspension can also be purchased for $100,000 in small bills left in a paper bag in the Money Curmudgeon’s mailbox.