NEW YORK, NY – In response to the continuing downturn in the economy Chanel, Hermes, and Gucci are all racing to market with upscale coupon holders for frugal fashionistas. Facing a steep decline in the sales of high-end handbags, the companies are struggling to offer a practical replacement.
“We’re responding to a change in the needs of our core customer,” said Miranda Rialto, Vice President of Marketing at Chanel. “Just because our clientele have been reduced to shopping at Target, doesn’t mean they don’t want to look good doing it.”
Other products in development include bowler hats and shoes that come with a ten-year supply of pre-cut newspaper patches – just in case. Fashion insiders are also seeing pseudo-moth-eaten woolen leggings, paper-clip earrings and sturdy denim thongs. They predict that by early 2009 the runways will be covered with this new ‘Depression Chic.’
Human rights leaders are weighing in with mixed reviews. While the manufacturing will no longer be performed in third world countries by cheap child labor, rumors abound that the fashion industry may target unemployed finance professionals for the minimum wage jobs. A representative from Amnesty International said, "What goes around, comes … I mean, that would be tantamount to torture!”
Because acceptance of any new fashion accessory is contingent upon acceptance by celebrity A-Listers, Gucci is said to be working with Paris Hilton and a top research university. Together they will create a nano-breed of dog that fits inside the diminutive coupon clutch.