BOSTON, MA — Harvard Business School (motto: “We should have flunked Bush, OK?”) is the latest organization to jump on the “Joe the Plumber” bandwagon by offering its first Masters of Business Administration degree in plumbing. “We never realized plumbers made that kind of money,” said Dean of New Degree Programs Biff “Skippy” Wellington V. “And with a Harvard MBA, they’ll be able to command four times as much.”
“Joe the Plumber” is Samuel Wurzelbacher, the Ohio plumbing company employee made famous by John McCain for asking Barack Obama about what his taxes would be if he had a plumbing company making more than $250,000 a year. Wurzelbacher does not have a degree of any kind in plumbing, nor even a license. That will change next spring when he receives an honorary Plumbing MBA after giving the commencement speech at the Harvard Business School graduation ceremony. “We’re also making him the first member of the plumbing fraternity,” said Biff. “Alpha Beta Krappa.”
To receive a Harvard MBA in Plumbing, students must complete a standard two-year program. The first year will focus on a Required Curriculum including courses in Commode Management, Water Supply & Demand and Rear Cleavage Control. The second year focuses on an Elective Curriculum including courses in Raising Equity While Lowering Water Pressure, The Third World – A Plumbers’ Heaven and How To Become Flush With Capital. Areas of specialization include Mansions, Gold Fixtures and Bidets.
Wellington says applications for a Harvard Plumbing MBA are pouring in and only the top ten percent will be accepted. “It’s a level playing field since none of the applicants have parents who went to school here.” Students interested in carpentry, drywall or electricity are out of luck since Harvard has no plans to offer MBAs in those disciplines. “We’re praying McCain’s next find is Joe the Bailout Funds Manager,” said Wellington.