Dear Mr. Paulson:
In light of recent national economic events, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for any and all future applications for credit with us, the American Taxpayers. However, we regret to inform you that we cannot extend credit terms to you at the present time, based negative reports we received back from various credit bureaus and leading economists.
Also, we just gave you $700 billion.
Should circumstances change in the future, please feel free to resubmit an application. If you feel that there may be errors in the records of the credit reporting agency, we suggest that you contact them and review their current information. In the event that there have been errors made, please submit a revised report to us for our reconsideration.
Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or if I can be of assistance to you in any way.
Yours very truly,
PS – Tell your friend Schwartzenegger we have no credit for him either.