“Used to be, we depended on a frustrated board of directors to oust a worthless CEO or other high ranking executive,” said Baleoot VP Susan MacArthur. “Those orders were so few and far between, we fabricated them on a custom basis. Now we’ve got the full faith and force of the United States government supporting our niche.”
MacArthur went on to explain that in addition to the traditional all golden design, Baleoot will begin manufacturing parachutes accented with industry specific colors. Blue for investment banks, green for retail banks, red for car companies, and black for oil companies.
The company is still working out some problems with parachutes made from actual gold, but expressed confidence the challenge will be met. “When you’re walking away with eight digits, you can get whatever you want,” MacArthur said.