BUTTE, MONTANA — The United Federation of Gym Teachers held a press conference today to express concern over the recent ban on shorts selling. Hygiene and comfort were both cited as issues under the new regulations. As long as the selling of new shorts is prohibited, physical education is expected to suffer.
“What business does the federal government have mandating basketball attire?” was the question posed by David Smalley, gym teacher at Mountain Bluff Junior High School. “It’s already become a problem during our dodge ball intramural league,” he said. Some kids have even started wearing jeans to P.E. classes, which gives them an advantage in many ball-to-skin contact sports.
Gym teachers across the country oppose the ban on shorts selling, but students seem unfazed. “I can totally wear these for another year,” said Wade Pritchett, seventh grader. Manufacturers of shorts are shifting current inventories to the far east, where the selling of shorts has yet to fall under state oversight.