Capitalist Banter

Your Weekly Business Horoscope

September 23, 2008

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Business is not your strong suit. Neither is pinstripe. It’s time to switch to a suit with your name permanently attached to the pocket.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Remember your face after hearing about Lehman Bothers? It will be perfect to carve in your Halloween pumpkin.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Be careful when considering a move. Your Window of opportunity has been replaced by a Vista of opportunity.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Now is not a good time to become a whistle blower. The Witness Protection Program is considering a round of cutbacks.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Assistance in installing a new home computer network is not always the best reason to have children.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If your performance is suffering from a “sophomore slump,” pretend you’re working in dog years.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Just because your boss says you’re all washed up, it doesn’t mean he’s planning to recommend you to “Dancing With The Stars.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Most highly effective people have seven habits. You need seven habits plus seven relatives in upper management.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Be wary of applying for work at a company whose executives spend their lunch hour playing Fantasy Layoff League.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Making friends at work is important. Just do it someplace other than in the rest room.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Be careful what you store on your office computer. You know your boss is reading your email if the text suddenly @x&4)kl*4jk+”.,<Je$2.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Unless you’re running for vice president, don’t put those two years of college you wasted playing Monopoly on your resume as “financial management experience.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Recent Posts

  • 50 Web Tools For Fast-Growing Online Businesses
  • Once Dominant Companies that Fell to Bankruptcy
  • 19 Vacation Advisory Positions Commuters Found in A good Bind
  • What is the Highest Credit Score You Can Get?
  • Ancient greek language Terminology Related Articles

Copyright © 2023 · elegance theme by StephanieHellwig.com

Copyright © 2023 · elegance Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in