Capitalist Banter

Palin Is Proof Paris Hilton Advising John McCain

September 2, 2008

Sources inside the McCain camp confirmed today the rumors that Paris Hilton has abandoned her own campaign for a Pennsylvania address in favor of consulting the Republican candidate. Washington insiders point to the choice of Sarah Palin as McCain’s pick for Vice President as proof that Hilton has been working for McCain for at least two weeks.

“Hilton knows how to court the press,” said a campaign aide. “In Palin she’s given us sex, guns, incarceration and cocktails. It’s pure genius! Hilton is the ultimate publicity magnet and now we’ve got her on our side.”

While Hilton advised the McCain machine to find an unknown with a colorful past, she admits the pregnant daughter was a bonus. “I didn’t think of that, but it’s totally hot. Bristol Palin can land a LOT of magazine covers out of a baby bump. Just look how those Spears girls rock the baby scene.”

Only time will tell how Bristol’s bump will bump McCain’s own numbers.

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