Capitalist Banter

InBev Buys Eight-Year-Old Kid’s Lemonade Stand

August 26, 2008

Hot on the heels of purchasing Anheuser-Busch, beverage giant InBev has reached an agreement to buy eight-year-old Jimmy Forrester’s Lemonade Stand for $113.48, ending weeks of speculation about a possible hostile takeover and ouster of Forrester, company CEO.

The deal, paid in the form of a contribution to Forrester’s college fund plus a copy of Madden NFL 09 for the Nintendo Wii, adds yet another iconic brand to InBev’s stable of beverages, including Beck’s, Budweiser and Stella Artois.

From humble beginnings as a converted cardboard box that once housed the Forresters’ new refrigerator, Jimmy Forrester’s Lemonade Stand rose to become the leading citrus-based beverage producer of Wedgewood Street in South Sioux City, Nebraska. Initially, local patrons reacted strongly against the purchase of this family-owned company, founded in the early days of summer vacation in June. Forrester tried to diversify his brand, adding sugar-free lemonade to his menu in an effort to drive stock prices out of reach. However, the company’s principal shareholders, Forrester’s mom and dad, finally consented to the purchase once their son had to return to school for the fall.

Terms of the deal include amending the name of the company to Jimmy Forrester’s Anheuser-Busch InBev. In addition, Forrester will be given a seat on the board of directors. However, his ability to participate in meetings during school hours is pending approval from his new third-grade teacher, Mrs. Stinchley, reputed to be “a real witch,” by a source requesting anonymity.

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