Mad Money host and giant red cranium owner Jim Cramer announced today that he will be selling off what’s left of his reputation and dignity at an open auction at “Bubba’s Repo-Auction house” in Sprott Alabama.
“Makes perfect sense to me! Bubba’s has a fine reputation as one of the premiere auction houses in Sprott!” screamed Cramer to no one in particular from a small dark closet at CNBC headquarters adding, “Buy Bear Sterns!” before smashing a red button with his forehead, putting on boxing gloves for no reason and passing out from oxygen depravation.
The auction has generated quite a bit of buzz in the financial world drawing potential buyers from as far away as Wetumpka. “I was headed over to Sprott to look for some parts for my 1977 Pinto and the wife asked if I could put a few dollars aside for the Cramer guy’s crap. She said she figured she could use it get a show on Fox business since no one watches it anyway” says local farmer and entrepreneur Armstead “Tater” Arnold.
Mr. Bubba Brannon of Bubba’s auction house echoed the excitement generated by the announcement “Yeah, I never heard of this dick, but I figured that I’d give him a good spot in the auction line-up.” Currently, it is rumored that the sale of Cramer’s dignity and reputation will be sandwiched between the only two items at the auction that have generated more buzz than Cramer, a tractor engine with less than 150,000 miles on it and a stolen 1992 Camaro IROC-Z with a smashed steering column.
When reached for comment Cramer’s former cohost Larry Kudlow said “Cramer’s reputation isn’t worth shit and it’ll be fun to watch him go down in flaming ball of cow piss right there in the armpit of North America! What am I doing these days? I got a line on some vacation property in Destin Florida if you’re inetersted. Hey!.. Where you going?!”