Palm, Inc. (motto: “We don’t make the PalmPilot anymore … get over it!”) announced it will divest itself of two low-performing subsidiaries – Thumb LLC and Pinkie International – in an attempt to focus its resources on regaining leadership in the highly competitive smartphone field.
“Thumb and Pinkie simply lost their grip on their markets,” said Palm spokesperson Bob Digitus. Thumb LLC, the division responsible for R&D on keypads, never recovered from the disastrous recommendation to enlarge the keys on Palm Treos to compensate for people who are all thumbs. “That Treo was the size of a Etch-a-Sketch,” said Digitus, “and about as useless.” Thumb is looking down the road at offers from other smartphone manufacturers and may hitch a ride with HP.
Pinkie International handled overseas marketing for Palm. “Our European sales were zilch in 2007,” said Digitus. “Those guys must have been sitting around picking their noses.” European companies looking for experienced technical salespeople are being advised to give Pinkie a ring.
Palm’s future business is now in the hands of a core of developers left from the Treo product line, renamed the Index Division. “Index is pointed directly at the iPhone,” said Digitus. “They have a finger on the pulse of the smartphone business.” Index management has been poked out by new V.P. of development Dave Q. Tuckel, the world’s top smartphone designer and former head of the engineering department at Florida Institute of Smartphone Technology (FIST).