WASHINGTON, DC — Top officials at the Environmental Protection Agency today reported that they’ve enlisted a new tool in the war to keep the environment clean and healhty. In preparation for future oil spills, the EPA has purchased some 2000 cases of the amazingly absorbent Shamwow cloth.
Thanks to a generous late night offer and an enterprising young staffer, the EPA was able to acquire the Shamwows at a considerable savings. “They just kept offering more until finally I just had to call,” said the employee who made the purchase. The government also received several bottles of a ‘magical’ grease cutting formula to help with bird rescue in the event of a major spill.
The Shamwows are being kept in a secured warehouse until such time as they are need to soak up a tanker’s worth of crude oil.