SAN JOSE, CA — Adobe, the Silicon Valley graphics company who brought you Acrobat and Photoshop debuted their new line of contact lenses today to a room full of excited and not so good looking journalists. The new contacts will automatically erase blemishes, visually slim, and blur wrinkles of anyone viewed through the lenses.
“The use of Photoshop has changed society’s concept of beauty,” said company representative Allen Vane. “We wanted a create a product that would protect wearers from seeing unneccesary ugliness.”
Adobe is employing a dual front marketing campaign that simultaneously targets attractive people who are offended by their less than perfect friends and family, and unattrative people who have much to gain from giving the lenses to others as gifts.
“We don’t think anyone should ever have to look at anyone else who falls short of their standard of beauty,” Vane said. Future versions in development will allow users to change the subjects hair and eye color, and perform ‘virtual plastic surgery’ to correct for large noses and droopy eyes.