Capitalist Banter

American Airlines to Institute New Coast-To-Stop Landings

July 21, 2008

800px-American_b777-200er_n780an_arp FORT WORTH, TEXAS — With no relief for oil prices in sight, airlines are resorting to increasingly drastic cost savings measures. In a bold move, American Airlines has decided to take a bite out the fuel costs by training all its pilots in the art of coast-to-stop landings.

“It came to me while I was visiting my dad this summer,” said Jodi Fitzgerald, Senior Engineer at American. “The old guy has always coasted to a stop, and it’s finally paying off. I thought, why not do it with the aircraft?”

American expects to see a 4% decrease in jet fuel usage by instituting the new coast-to-stop landings. “We’ve still got a few bugs to work out,” said Fitzgerald. “But there’s really no reason these birds can’t just float down onto the runway.”

In the interest of fuel conservation, pilots have also been asked to refrain from drag racing and idling excessively mid-flight.

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