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Associated Press Story Causes Racial Misunderstanding

June 20, 2008

Writer, Editor Released After Political Story Improperly Construed

The Associated Press reported earlier today that Senator Barack Obama’s wife recently indicated she was “touched” by the first lady, Laura Bush. The phrasing of this article’s title has, so far, resulted in the firing of the reporter who wrote the story and the resignation of her editor.

Although Mrs. Obama actually meant that she was glad that Mrs. Bush came to her rescue for a past, misconstrued statement, prominent civil rights leaders initially thought that Mrs. Bush had accosted Mrs. Obama by physically touching her. Until this semantic confusion was figured out, the racial accusations were flying.

Jeremiah Wright, the Obamas’ former pastor, used the initial public reaction to the story as an opportunity to further rant against the white man. “How dare a white woman touch this lovely black lady,” he spouted at a hastily called press conference. “The white man has redirected their campaign of harassment through the white woman because they have HEARD MY MESSAGE,” he furthered, emphasizing the last few words.

“God damn Laura Bush,” he yelled at various times throughout his speech, using one of his cliched lines in an effort to rile up the audience. The eight audience members who actually bothered to show up cheered and yelled in agreement, although these signals of camaraderie were largely drowned out by the noise and commotion created by over fifty reporters who showed up to cover the press conference.

Also seen in attendance and expected to speak later on in the program were Al Sharpton and Louis Farakhan.

The Associated Press released a clarified version of the story and apologized for any inconveniences or misunderstandings that were present with their original release of the story.

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