WASHINGTON – As a small percentage of informed Americans continually complain about the ups and downs of the economy and the word “recession” is thrown around more and more, people are beginning to get burnt out.
It’s been months since the first news of an economic downturn hit the headlines and even now we’re still flirting with the edge of complete, economic catastrophy. Yet as the tedious wait continues many Americans are starting to wonder just when she’s going to put out.
As one disgruntled citizen put it: “I keep hearing about this recession but I’m starting to wonder where it is. I’m a busy man and I don’t have time to keep buying energy efficient vehicles and commodity stocks if she’s not going to at least show me an economic depression.”
This opinion seems to be growing among Americans as they wait eagerly on the edge of their hybrid vehicle seats for the economy to reveal some signs of a Tightened Infrastructural Timeline Situation, or TITS. The economic struggle is just not worth getting all worked up over unless Americans know that they’re going to get to see some TITS very soon.
“I lived through the first depression and now they’re saying another one is just around the corner. Well I can’t just go and dump my savings into one of those new age fuel-saving cars unless I know I’m going to be seeing some huge TITS real soon.” said one elderly man when asked about his experience with economic downturns.
Yet, Americans are not simply sitting around and waiting for the TITS to come knocking at their door. Many of them are looking to get an Assimilated Savings Scenario or ASS, going as soon as possible. Working on getting some ASS within your own family or with others in your community can help bolster your overall savings and make you more financially secure for when the economy finally starts to show some TITS.
When asked about their own savings and how they planned to weather the economic recession one couple had this to say, “We just want to grab a hold of some firm ASS to help us get through these slow times and keep as much money as we can built up in case we suddenly see some TITS burst out of the economy.”
With so much uncertainty floating around these days and the economy playing hard to get with the American public there really is no better advice than to grab a little ASS and hold tight until we start to see some TITS.