In stunning news today Halliburton scrapped their business model of exploiting no bid contracts in war zones to go with a much more social model, they set up a twitter account.
“Yeah… you know with the change over in office upcoming we figured the whole no bid contract well was about to dry up. I read that a lot of people were picking up work via Twitter so we decided to give it a go, “ said Jeff Mahoney the Senior VP of New Media and Third World Exploitation. “So far we have about seven people following us and we haven’t landed a job yet but we are being patient.”
Halliburton has adopted a model that many other businesses implemented in regards to social media. We here Capitalist Banter obtained the one page document which only had these three points:
- Build profile
- Wait for people to add you
- Make money somehow
The Halliburton board could not be reached for comment on their new strategy, as they were busy sucking the blood of abducted virgins. It is widely rumored that the company has moved all available resources to Mahoney’s plan and are expecting huge returns from social media.
Mahoney is confident in this plan, “I’m pretty sure there are a few major world leaders on here and some government officials. I mean Robert Scoble is on there. What more of an endorsement do you need?”