That’s what people in Japan are doing, extracting gold from sewer drains that can rival the productivity of most gold mines out there. It used to be despised but the Japanese have again turned smelly gunk into gold of all materials. One of the most expensive commodities on the market, it is mined using million dollar machines in concentrations that gets you something like a few grams per ton of rock. Some of the biggest industrial mines obtain it chemically due to microscopic proportions making it quite a huge endeavor indeed. Location is the key and they have isolated areas that are near metal processing facilities that manufacture electronics and do plating jobs.
If I remember it right, they also extracted precious metals from muffler recycling plants where they dismantle old car mufflers extracting gold, silver, platinum and several other metals. Gold being a very expensive metal is priced at $900+ per ounce and since most major gold mines have exhausted resources, prices are going up and down at an hourly rate. Imagine having gold in your drains and old mufflers, now that’s an idea these people are good at. The Japanese have been known for their technology and unending need for innovation. From chopstick mounted fans to cool your noodles, to automated toilets that wash and heat your behind, they make them all.
Just wondering, if they happen to recover gold from sewers near industrial facilities, aren’t these plants dumping waste water into the drains? Naaah, they are known for their strict obedience to laws and knowing their pride in honor lessens my fears. Just what will they think of next, only they can answer that(hopefully it can extract the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to heal the planet).

Addam Smythe claims to be the great-great-grandson of Adam Smith, the father of modern economics. After a successful Hollywood career managing movie extras, stand-ins and seat fillers, Smythe used his connections and mail-order MBA to fulfill his dream of following in his alleged ancestor’s footsteps. Changing his name slightly to fulfill the basic requirement for living in Beverly Hills, Addam Smythe became the Economist to the Stars. Capitalistbanter.com welcomes Mr. Smythe to our staff to answer your financial questions.

Dear Addam Smythe,

I just turned 59 and decided it’s time to start thinking about saving up for my retirement. What do you recommend I do?

Elbert in Omaha

Dear Elbert,

I suggest you ask your employer to begin deducting 25% of your net income and deposit it directly into a special checking account. Discipline yourself to use this checking account for one purpose: to purchase the kneepads you will need while begging your children to let you live with them.

Addam

Dear Mr. Smythe,

My eccentric uncle passed away recently and left me his home which he built out of soap in an attempt to cash in on what he called the “housing bubbles.” Is there anything I can do with it?

Barb in Seattle

Dear Barb,

Soap homes were once popular in countries where trees were considered to be gods. Perhaps you can find one of the remaining members of the Oakodox Church and hold an open house. A plate of toast burnt with the shape of maples might help.

Addam

Dear Addam Smythe,

What will be the “next big thing?”

Joe in Toledo

Dear Joe,

The “next big thing” will be green crayons. Billions of half-used crayons end up in landfills every June when school lets out, forming a waxy buildup on the planet that is threatening to cause Earth to slip out of orbit. Fifty-four nations have signed the Crayoto Treaty calling for a ban on crayon sales, a move that would cripple elementary education and leave refrigerators doors across the country uncovered, hurting the critical magnet industry. A market is building for an alternative. Put your money in green crayons.

Addam

Got a question for Addam Smythe, Economist to the Stars? Leave it in a comment.

Need to know that the economy is doing bad.. really bad? Well get this budding entrepreneur who found a very innovative way to sell of all things, coffee. Take a drive last year into the business district and you’ll surely see coffee shops at every street corner. Now that the recession’s here, many have closed shop or trimmed branches for they just had to. Major brands have first been beaten by unknown brands that not only taste better but cost less. Now this guy opens his coffee shop, gets a couple of servers and in comes customers in groves, he earns a lot of money but ends up in controversy. The coffee shop has this posted outside :

“Over 18 Only.” another sign says, “No cameras, No touching, CASH Only.”

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A few years ago no one would even dare think that the internet would even surpass television but based on a recent study it looks like that day has come.

According to a report published by the Internet Advertising Bureau the UK has seen advertising on the internet increase and overtake TV advertising. It is the first large media market to post this remarkable shift in advertising money.

Online advertising spend has grown by 4.6 percent in the first six months of 2009, reaching £1.75 billion. Most of the advertising has been directed at search engine advertising. On the other hand, overall spend on advertising has fallen by 16.6 percent.

I think this is an undeniable sign of the internet’s relentless surge and inevitable position as the top “medium” for advertising in the next few years. Advertisers should take notice. You guys wouldn’t want to be left behind.

Talk about the lack of control and forward thinking, in the UK, health officials released a drug-dependent schizophrenic on the grounds that his out-patient treatment would be monitored by health servicemen that just didn’t happen. The outcome, the drug-laden man goes on a rampage eventually killing a police officer in the process before being stopped by other police officers. The man was released to care for himself, expected to take all his necessary medication with NHS people supposedly to go check in on him regularly for progress and evaluation of his case. He misses his scheduled check-ups, eludes health officials who by the way fail to inform the police that a dangerous man is at large which could have gotten him back into custody for his and the general public’s safety. Continue reading »

From thousands of free pizzas to Lemon Cola baptisms, the world is truly an interesting yet weird place to live in. First on the block, In Oslo Norway, baptisms were turned odd when the city’s water supply pipes froze and the priests at a baptismal ceremony were forced to use Lemon Cola as their symbol for holy Water. According to the faith, any liquid can be used for baptism in the absence of H2O to serve as the symbolic water which was used to baptize Christ.
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The Economy is on the rocks and the American public is pissed off at the unreasonable AIG executives who have not yet returned their million dollar bonuses. Such is the anger of the people that opposition groups have been trying to organize tours of their properties to showcase their utter ignorance of the shape the economy is. From million dollar homes, yachts, cars and more, they have it all and are part of the tour should it push through. Continue reading »

BALTIMORE, MD – Shortly after Michael Phelps (motto: “Quit calling me a fish out of water”) was suspended for three months by USA Swimming (motto: “Like the Olympic Committee only with more affordable bribes”), all of his major sponsors announced they are dropping him for Tommy Chong (motto: “Huh?”).

“We decided that, if we’re going to go with a dope smoker, we might as well go with the best,” said Kellogg’s spokesperson Anthony Tigre. “Bill Clinton wanted the job, but he hasn’t eaten cereal since Hooters started serving breakfast.”

Chong, best known as the taller, slower half of the dope-smoking comedy team of Cheech and Chong, has never been known as a athlete. “I disagree,” said Tigre. “We watched “Up In Smoke” and Chong exhibited a much greater lung capacity than Phelps when comparing doobies to bongs.”

Joining Kellogg’s in dumping Phelps for Chong is the swimwear manufacturer Speedo. “We’ve already contacted our sweat … I mean plant in Manila,” said Speedo spokesperson Barry Cheeks. “They’re changing the labels on the Phelps swimsuit to read ‘Chong Thong’.”

Omega held a board meeting before replacing Phelps with Chong as its official timepiece endorser. “A couple of board members wanted Harold and Kumar,” said Omega spokesperson Claire “Don’t Call Me ‘Big’” Hand. “Unfortunately, their manager informed us that it’s his job to tell them the time.”

Phelps is refereeing all calls to his mother, was busy calling all of her own sponsors to assure them that she has a glass of wine with dinner but that’s all. Tommy Chong is currently on a reunion tour with Cheech Marin and could not be reached for comment because he had no idea where he was.