Capitalist Banter » Marketing

Internet getting more advertisers than TV

Jon — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:49:06 +0000

A few years ago no one would even dare think that the internet would even surpass television but based on a recent study it looks like that day has come.

According to a report published by the Internet Advertising Bureau the UK has seen advertising on the internet increase and overtake TV advertising. It is the first large media market to post this remarkable shift in advertising money.

Online advertising spend has grown by 4.6 percent in the first six months of 2009, reaching £1.75 billion. Most of the advertising has been directed at search engine advertising. On the other hand, overall spend on advertising has fallen by 16.6 percent.

I think this is an undeniable sign of the internet’s relentless surge and inevitable position as the top “medium” for advertising in the next few years. Advertisers should take notice. You guys wouldn’t want to be left behind.

When beer drinking faces recession

Jon — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:16:00 +0000

The recession is really taking a toll on everyone — even beer drinkers.

Because of the belt tightening measures almost all American households are implementing, everything is being cut down, even beer. There is a growing trend of beer drinkers now choosing cheaper priced brews when they buy them in supermarkets and stores. And this is a trend that the premium beer manufacturers are not happy about.

So what can you do? Well, if you’re Grupo Modelo SAB, the largest brewery in Mexico, you have to revisit some of your strategies. The company’s exports of its beers, including its top selling Corona, has declined by 5.3 percent in the first half of this year.

Modelo hsa said that it will be focusing on marketing to entice consumers to buy its beer. The obvious strategy of cutting prices to increase sales is not being entertained by the company because it will face higher input costs. One of its strategies is to even revive a popular ad it had in the 90’s as a way of stretching its marketing budget.

I don’t know about this strategy. Will beer drinkers buy expensive beer if they see an ad that’s more than ten years old? You have to be really drunk to get sold on that.

Capitalist Blunders from the UK and US

Jon — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 05:25:02 +0000

Talk about the lack of control and forward thinking, in the UK, health officials released a drug-dependent schizophrenic on the grounds that his out-patient treatment would be monitored by health servicemen that just didn’t happen. The outcome, the drug-laden man goes on a rampage eventually killing a police officer in the process before being stopped by other police officers. The man was released to care for himself, expected to take all his necessary medication with NHS people supposedly to go check in on him regularly for progress and evaluation of his case. He misses his scheduled check-ups, eludes health officials who by the way fail to inform the police that a dangerous man is at large which could have gotten him back into custody for his and the general public’s safety. He goes missing, eventually killing Police Constable John Henry. Talk about a failure in the highest regard, these people should have known better and kept constant tabs on him. PC Henry leaves a wife and daughter behind who still calls out daddy when she sees his dad’s pictures on TV.
In the US, the capitalists in Capitol Hill are seeking to and end to the many secretive bailout agreements that are struck out of the eyes of the general public who are fuming with anger at rumors that they’ve been happening all over all through out the US’s long history. Information that has leaked shows that bailouts have always been a norm for executive action where the President is given the right to decide whether a company should live or die, falling ill due to it’s many debts and ill-policy making management. As we’ve been saying all along, why the hell should bailout’s be allowed when these people are responsible for their own demise. Take a look at these rich and famous a top executives, who amidst all the economic turmoil still have the guts to take bonuses from bailout funds, talk about a failure!

From Drugged Art, Pillow Fights, Toothpaste Theft and an almost Fatal Proposal

Jon — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:36:59 +0000

From Arizona, not that customs officials didn;t appreciate art but the find they got was truly one to behold, 90 pounds of marijuana stuffed into the frames of several paintings that was supposed to be smuggled into the US. The daring ploy to smuggle the drugs almost succeeded till a nosy dog put his nose on something within the designated art that was enough cause for further examination and viola, x-ray reveals the marijuana leaves contained within the frames, sending the man into custody wasting seemingly very good art and very good frames. Just goes to show you that the need for cash makes people do stupid things.
Still in the US, Detroit police was called to a scene that would have been one to see indeed, an organized pillow fight that was to be held at the campus Maritus Park which they promptly halted, to the dismay of the organizers who questioned the legalities of owning the popular bedtime piece. Their remark, it wasn’t actually the fight they were afraid of or anybody getting hurt, but the millions of feathers that the city would have to deal with!
From Germany this time, GOD knows how clean and healthy teeth is something to smile about, right? Not this time, for police are after a man who had an unusually plump jacket. When questioned, he hit the poor woman at the store and 68 tubes of the teeth cleaning agent was sent all over the place. The police only had this to say, “Maybe he had a lot of bad teeth?!?” (well enough for a couple of years savings on those pearly whites). Lastly, from the ever busy city that is New York, a man who was to propose to his future wife almost turned into tragedy when the darned ring fell off the walkway of the Brooklyn Bridge, ending on the roadway, prompting the police to send in units to halt traffic and to just let the guy get on with the business of his proposal after finding his way through the metal work. (call it lucky, or it might be a very very expensive ring!)

Media Blunders and More Signs of the Times

Jon — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 05:17:15 +0000

From thousands of free pizzas to Lemon Cola baptisms, the world is truly an interesting yet weird place to live in. First on the block, In Oslo Norway, baptisms were turned odd when the city’s water supply pipes froze and the priests at a baptismal ceremony were forced to use Lemon Cola as their symbol for holy Water. According to the faith, any liquid can be used for baptism in the absence of H2O to serve as the symbolic water which was used to baptize Christ.
Times must be getting hard for the man or he may simply be sick of some unknown disorder, in our next odd news, who was convicted of Serial Shrimp Shoplifting, after the Massachusetts man was caught and subsequently pleaded guilty to the crime. He describes the situation as an addiction that has him craving for the frozen crustacean, he made off with an estimated $500 worth of the frozen item before he was caught. He is still in custody after news surfaces of him having another stint at another fish market where he ran off with a jacket full of the same frozen food stuff.
Best of all, Domino’s Pizza ends up giving away 11,000 free pizzas due to a nosy customer who peeks into the company web site and stumbles upon a “Bailout Special” promotion that was never used and activated. The nosy customer, upon discovery of the unused promo code (“Bailout”) spread news and before the company caught on after a few days, they have already given away 11,000 pizzas.
In another corporate blunder (more of a misprint), a cereal manufacturer from Oregon has been getting calls of their hot line being directed to phone sex lines, upon verification they discover that there was indeed a typographical error on a specific batch of cereal boxes for several types of their products. The company had already shipped out many of the erring typo-boxes for weeks when the error was discovered, much to the surprise of their customers who took it in stride. More of signs of the times in the coming posts, where we take a look at the funny side of business and the people who make it so.

Signs of the Times – Of Fishing, Fake ID’s, Stink Free Undies and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Jon — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:59:09 +0000

The Economy is on the rocks and the American public is pissed off at the unreasonable AIG executives who have not yet returned their million dollar bonuses. Such is the anger of the people that opposition groups have been trying to organize tours of their properties to showcase their utter ignorance of the shape the economy is. From million dollar homes, yachts, cars and more, they have it all and are part of the tour should it push through. Hailed as the “Lifestyles of the Rich and famous AIG Executives”, the tour will be taking people to sights and places of interest where the taxpayer money has been paying for. Need another sign that the economy isn’t doing better? Well the more or less unglamorous world of fishing has been getting a boost from the recession for as people aim to save as much as they could, they are heading to their long forgotten fishing holes to catch dinner for the coming days. It has benefited those selling gear such as rods, fly’s and other supplies, as well as the corner bait shop selling blood worms (learned about it from Mike Rowe) which are some of the best baits for the common man. Good luck guys, and hope the fishing’s good.
On another bizarre note, a woman is being hunted for getting breast implants in Huntington Beach, California. Well, technically it isn’t the actual breasts that are subject to the manhunt, but the way she got those implants for she used a fake ID to setup a line of credit using the credentials of another person. She had them done, then left leaving the poor woman who was subject of the dastardly act of identity fraud to deal with the charges that amounted to $12,000 dollars. She may have been so desperate to get her front done that she skipped town right after the operation, not showing up for the follow-up visits and not settling her bill. An APB is out for a woman in her 30’s with sizable bumpers who faces charges of Grand Theft, Identity Theft and surely not what you’re thinkin’ Commercial Burglary for her ill-gotten front ends. Shame on you lady, just hope the poor woman you stole the ID from hasn’t got any implants or she might have to pay up!
Lastly, the recent shuttle launch has the astronauts testing new types of undies that are claimed to be stink free. The apparent conditions in space and the space station warrants such products and will indeed make life for these space pioneers a little bit easier. Just imagine, the market for more earth-bound markets where anything is possible. Space is the limit, the Final Frontier!

Coffee – Signs of the Times

Jon — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:43:49 +0000

Need to know that the economy is doing bad.. really bad? Well get this budding entrepreneur who found a very innovative way to sell of all things, coffee. Take a drive last year into the business district and you’ll surely see coffee shops at every street corner. Now that the recession’s here, many have closed shop or trimmed branches for they just had to. Major brands have first been beaten by unknown brands that not only taste better but cost less. Now this guy opens his coffee shop, gets a couple of servers and in comes customers in groves, he earns a lot of money but ends up in controversy. The coffee shop has this posted outside :

“Over 18 Only.” another sign says, “No cameras, No touching, CASH Only.”

Now back to the best way to sell coffee, guessed his gimmick, they serve it in the nude! In the nude, COFFEE?!!. You know what’s weird? The coffee shop owner says there’s no shortage of applicants for the job, men and women. Now that’s sign the recession is hitting hard enough to get you to take your shirt off. Imagine ordering your morning espresso, served by a nude waitress(arghhhhh….. My aching Heart…….), bring those Nitroglycerin Tablets, you’ll need it if you….. drink too much coffee on an empty stomach with a heart condition.

You’ve gotta’ give this guy a credit for his method of selling something that has become so ordinary and boring and kicking a lot of life back into it in his little shop. Now the concept isn’t totally new with other, less baring ideas having the same themes out there. Now that’s business innovation/creativity at it’s best.

Mine them Sewers!!!

Jon — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 22:45:04 +0000

That’s what people in Japan are doing, extracting gold from sewer drains that can rival the productivity of most gold mines out there. It used to be despised but the Japanese have again turned smelly gunk into gold of all materials. One of the most expensive commodities on the market, it is mined using million dollar machines in concentrations that gets you something like a few grams per ton of rock. Some of the biggest industrial mines obtain it chemically due to microscopic proportions making it quite a huge endeavor indeed. Location is the key and they have isolated areas that are near metal processing facilities that manufacture electronics and do plating jobs.
If I remember it right, they also extracted precious metals from muffler recycling plants where they dismantle old car mufflers extracting gold, silver, platinum and several other metals. Gold being a very expensive metal is priced at $900+ per ounce and since most major gold mines have exhausted resources, prices are going up and down at an hourly rate. Imagine having gold in your drains and old mufflers, now that’s an idea these people are good at. The Japanese have been known for their technology and unending need for innovation. From chopstick mounted fans to cool your noodles, to automated toilets that wash and heat your behind, they make them all.
Just wondering, if they happen to recover gold from sewers near industrial facilities, aren’t these plants dumping waste water into the drains? Naaah, they are known for their strict obedience to laws and knowing their pride in honor lessens my fears. Just what will they think of next, only they can answer that(hopefully it can extract the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to heal the planet).

Sponsors Drop Michael Phelps For Tommy Chong

Paul — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:14:45 +0000

BALTIMORE, MD – Shortly after Michael Phelps (motto: “Quit calling me a fish out of water”) was suspended for three months by USA Swimming (motto: “Like the Olympic Committee only with more affordable bribes”), all of his major sponsors announced they are dropping him for Tommy Chong (motto: “Huh?”).

“We decided that, if we’re going to go with a dope smoker, we might as well go with the best,” said Kellogg’s spokesperson Anthony Tigre. “Bill Clinton wanted the job, but he hasn’t eaten cereal since Hooters started serving breakfast.”

Chong, best known as the taller, slower half of the dope-smoking comedy team of Cheech and Chong, has never been known as a athlete. “I disagree,” said Tigre. “We watched “Up In Smoke” and Chong exhibited a much greater lung capacity than Phelps when comparing doobies to bongs.”

Joining Kellogg’s in dumping Phelps for Chong is the swimwear manufacturer Speedo. “We’ve already contacted our sweat … I mean plant in Manila,” said Speedo spokesperson Barry Cheeks. “They’re changing the labels on the Phelps swimsuit to read ‘Chong Thong’.”

Omega held a board meeting before replacing Phelps with Chong as its official timepiece endorser. “A couple of board members wanted Harold and Kumar,” said Omega spokesperson Claire “Don’t Call Me ‘Big’” Hand. “Unfortunately, their manager informed us that it’s his job to tell them the time.”

Phelps is refereeing all calls to his mother, was busy calling all of her own sponsors to assure them that she has a glass of wine with dinner but that’s all. Tommy Chong is currently on a reunion tour with Cheech Marin and could not be reached for comment because he had no idea where he was.

Circuit City Buys Super Bowl Commercial

Paul — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:07:42 +0000

TAMPA, FL – Circuit City (motto: “We’ve Still Got Plenty of VHS Players and AM Radios”) has purchased the last 30 seconds of commercial time available during Sunday’s Super Bowl telecast in spite of the fact that the company is going out of business and liquidating the merchandise in its stores. “It’s our way of saying “screw you” to all of those people watching the game on big screen TVs they bought at Best Buy and Wal-Mart,” said Circuit City spokesperson Harry “Back” Ordor.

Rather than attempting to convince viewers to stop by its stores for heavily-discounted merchandise at its going-out-of-business sales, Circuit City will exact its revenge on fair-weather customers by showing videos of dogs eating baby kittens and cats eating baby puppies that will look even more disgusting in HD on big screen TVs. The commercial’s soundtrack will include the sounds of fingernails on blackboards, vomiting and selections from Jessica Simpson’s latest CD. “And to keep people from running to the bathroom during the commercial, we’re interspersing the kitten and puppy feast with nude photos of Drew Barrymore and Brad Pitt,” sneered Ordor.

NBC is already receiving calls protesting the Circuit City commercial, but the network has no plans to pull it or run a warning before it airs. “Are you nuts?” screamed NBC Director of Super Bowl Commercials and Cleaning Product Infomercials Jack “Amazing” Wyper. “This will be the biggest thing since what’s-her-name’s nipple. Both teams have requested TVs on the bench so they can watch it too. President Obama even gave me his super-secret Blackberry number for a ten-second heads-up.”

NBC refuses to reveal when exactly the Circuit City commercial will be run because no company wants their commercial to air immediately after it. “I figure there’s gonna be a lot of crying, so I may run a Kleenex ad,” said Ordor. “On the other hand, Circuit City offered me a truckload of car stereos to give the slot to Best Buy.”