cramergency: stock panic caused by wild-eyed business pundit.

bailouch: headache from watching federal aid go to bankers responsible for causing the mortgage crisis.

bailouse: banker who received federal aid for causing the mortgage crisis.

profitears: what’s running down the face of investors.

chevrong: prediction that oil would now be $200 a barrel.

drillapalooza: gathering of Republican energy advisors.

s’mortgage: a home loan that’s worth less than marshmallows

citigrope: groin massage applied to Congress in return for $300 million

drepression: the point at which the economy is so bad that rappers are unemployed.

reekonomics: odor left behind after your financial advisor leaves.

shrinkedin: looking up former fellow employees in an attempt to figure out why you’re so screwed up now.

AIJesus: short prayer for a bailout.

whybrid: car being designed by company that’s going to go bankrupt anyway

cryPhone: anything you get your child that’s not an iPhone.

berblankie: warm feeling you get while holding your bailout (usually accompanied by thumb-sucking)