It’s no secret that Hollywood loves sequels. Without them, Sylvester Stallone, Chevy Chase and Rob Schneider would have to get real jobs. Sequels are guaranteed to make at least half as much as the original with only one-tenth the effort in writing and shooting — a record Detroit would love to have. With the 2008 economic crisis gripping the nation, you can expect to see sequels to many popular movies about business. Here’s ten business movie sequels currently in development in Hollywood:
Jerry Maguire At The Olympics
Tom Cruise goes to Beijing and spends 2 hours trying to say “Show me the money!” in Mandarin while attempting to sign Chinese female gymnasts to endorsement contracts for juice boxes, Pampers and really flexible Barbie dolls.
Lost in Transylvania
Bill Murray shoots a whisky commercial in Transylvania, meets a vampire who looks like Scarlett Johansson and starts a business selling SPF 1000 sunblock to Dracula’s descendants who want to walk around in the daytime.
Planes, Planes and Planes
Steve Martin goes broke paying extra bag fees while trying to fly home for Thanksgiving.
Dan Ackroyd plays an NFL owner who switches roles with con man Eddie Murphy in an attempt to win a championship by cornering the market on kickers and punters.
Working Alien Girl
In a merger of multiple sequels, Melanie Griffith’s body is taken over by an alien who attempts to take over Wall Street, only to be thwarted by Sigourney Weaver in her underwear and Harrison Ford in his Millennium Falcon.
Glengarry Glen Loss
Real estate agents with nothing to sell due to foreclosures sit around the office listening to Alec Baldwin tell stories about hosting Saturday Night Live and trying to have sex with Tina Fey.
John Goodman plays Orson Welles playing Charles Foster Kane who is really William Randolph Hearst trying to save his newspaper business by blogging under the name FakeRosebud.
It’s A Wonderful Bank
George Bailey gets a tip from an angel and negotiates a huge bailout for the Bailey Building & Loan Association which he uses to take over Bank of America, JP Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo.
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Having Any Products
The MySpace story.
Return of the Undead Salesman
A zombie Willy Loman ransacks New York City while hunting down Biff, Happy and the high school guidance counselor who convinced him to go into sales instead of computer science.